Painful Lessons Learned

This blog was published in the Kings County Record on August 17, 2015.  My goal in this entry was to get parents to think about allowing their children to push their boundaries a little and by doing so pushing themselves too.  While I talk about the lessons the children learn, there are also lessons to learn for parents when their child gets hurt.  You may realize things about your child you didn't realize.  Maybe it will confirm for you how much your son still needs you, or maybe the opposite.  If it is the opposite, maybe you can take pride in how much he has grown.  By letting your daughter push her limits, maybe you'll see how athletic she is and maybe you'll realize you might have a major league pitcher on your hands.  Regardless, I hope you can take something from this.

My daughter teaching me a painful lesson :)

It finally happened.  My daughter had a wipeout on her bicycle.  I didn't witness it as I was at work, but apparently the whole block likely heard it.  Her hands and legs are pretty bruised and battered now but she'll be the tougher for it.  Following her bang up I started thinking about all those injuries and falls I've had in my life.  I wondered if kids today maybe don't fall enough.  I learned a great deal from the many falls and injuries I have experienced and I hope my kids learn from theirs as well.

One of the worst bike accidents I can remember happened when I was trying a jump on my BMX.  I over flew the landing area and ended up in a ditch up against an alder stump.  I cut my knee for, I think, 8 stitches.  What did I learn from this experience? Well for one, a cut on your knee is not likely going to kill you, even though I screamed like it might.  I also learned that nothing beats great neighbors when you're in a jam.  Thanks Georgette for taking me home and helping me to the hospital.

Playing sports I was usually quick.  I was a fast skater, I was a modest sprinter and a better long distance runner, and when I hike, I usually lead the group.  Being fast is not always better though.  Pushing my speed one night led me to severely breaking my wrist, but I lived and learned some limits.  Finishing a hike along the coast one afternoon, I decided I wanted to be the first to take a swim in the Bay and on my run to the water, I cut my foot open on a shell.  Those incidents have both illustrated to me that quick is not always better.

As a youth I was a bit of a daredevil and I'm sure every time I left on my bike or my skateboard my mother wanted to stop me but instead let me enjoy being a kid.  On one occasion my buddies and I stood at the top of Millbrook Road and decided it would be cool to skateboard down the hill.  Everyone hesitated to actually push off, except me.  I got part way down the hill and my wheels caught on a stone and head over heels I went.  I had to go the hospital again, this time to have the stones removed from the palms of my hand, but I lived.  The lesson learned was I don't need to prove myself to anybody.  Unfortunately, I frequently need reminded of this lesson.

As a parent today, I struggle to let my kids learn those tough, often painful lessons.  If I don't let some of those accidents happen though they will struggle to know how hard they can push themselves or realize maybe that they might be pushing themselves too far.  With every injury and mishap I experienced I found new boundaries and limits.  When I was able to quickly recover from a mishap I would realize that I could push myself a little harder and when the mishap was more drastic I would readily see that I was at my upper limit.  Learning these lessons on my own would eventually serve me as I became an independent adult and still serve me today.  Maybe the only way it didn't help me was I still have no idea how much freedom to give my kids, any suggestions?

Pedaling Backwards

I had this published in a recent edition of the Kings County Record.  Obviously July is now over but this could happen when ever I hop on a bike.  As someone who is learning to enjoy a slower pace, it is a blessing to find that I can find it on a bike.  I hope you enjoy the read and that you have a chance to get out to find a pace that suits you.

July is more than half over and I am already wondering where summer went.  Time just seems to fly by at times.  That is why it is good to simply slow the pace down.  How do you slow down time?  I have a couple of key ways to recharge and slow down time.  Sometimes I can even do a couple of them at the same time. 

You've heard me ramble about fishing and for sure that is one way to slow things down.  I've written about camping, hiking, and kayaking and extolled how relaxing they can be.  One activity that I don't participate in or write about nearly enough is cycling.  For many biking is not something they would perceive as relaxing or has a manner of slowing down.  When you watch the "Tour de France" and local Christian Meier, they sure aren't going slow and they are racing against time. 

I admit, when I go biking I don't always relax or slow things down.  I love to see how fast I can go and I don't just coast down hill, I like to pedal to gain more speed.  Even with the speed involved time, or maybe more appropriately, aging, is slowed down.  My mind races back to when I was a kid and I'd race down the Mill Brook Road at a dangerous pace. I remember the jumps we'd build and the trails we created simply to get somewhere we couldn't previous pedal to.

A short time ago I was out biking with my son.  The evening was hot with very little breeze and as we slowly pedaled along the trail, the light breeze kept us cool.  The pace was slow and I was able to take in a lot of the scenery around me.  I wondered why we didn't do this more often.  The trail in Sussex and Sussex Corner is a great way to enjoy our community, exercise, and slow time down.  The slow pace, the church picnic atmosphere, the urban setting, it all led my mind to an earlier time when things were simpler and slower. 

That evening I almost felt like I was pedaling backwards.  As I watched my son I saw myself on my old black and yellow BMX.  Our band of buddies used to bike to "Mac's Grocery" and buy a bag of chips, a chocolate bar, and a pop for under a dollar.  We'd then bike to a nearby hayfield and find a place to sit and watch the road below as we indulged on our treat.  It was a slower time and the memory slowed my mind and suddenly the faster pace of my hectic adult lifestyle slowed as well.

As we age we gain perspective on various things.  In the past I have always been very competitive and that drove me to do things at a fast pace.  I didn't just compete against others but against time and against myself as well.  The lesson learned over this biking exercise has been that I don't always need to compete against the clock or against myself.  Through my youth I may have missed out on some important lessons simply because I thought I had something to prove or had to compete.  Now I realize that biking isn't always a race and that it can be a joy ride.