Painful Lessons Learned

This blog was published in the Kings County Record on August 17, 2015.  My goal in this entry was to get parents to think about allowing their children to push their boundaries a little and by doing so pushing themselves too.  While I talk about the lessons the children learn, there are also lessons to learn for parents when their child gets hurt.  You may realize things about your child you didn't realize.  Maybe it will confirm for you how much your son still needs you, or maybe the opposite.  If it is the opposite, maybe you can take pride in how much he has grown.  By letting your daughter push her limits, maybe you'll see how athletic she is and maybe you'll realize you might have a major league pitcher on your hands.  Regardless, I hope you can take something from this.

My daughter teaching me a painful lesson :)

It finally happened.  My daughter had a wipeout on her bicycle.  I didn't witness it as I was at work, but apparently the whole block likely heard it.  Her hands and legs are pretty bruised and battered now but she'll be the tougher for it.  Following her bang up I started thinking about all those injuries and falls I've had in my life.  I wondered if kids today maybe don't fall enough.  I learned a great deal from the many falls and injuries I have experienced and I hope my kids learn from theirs as well.

One of the worst bike accidents I can remember happened when I was trying a jump on my BMX.  I over flew the landing area and ended up in a ditch up against an alder stump.  I cut my knee for, I think, 8 stitches.  What did I learn from this experience? Well for one, a cut on your knee is not likely going to kill you, even though I screamed like it might.  I also learned that nothing beats great neighbors when you're in a jam.  Thanks Georgette for taking me home and helping me to the hospital.

Playing sports I was usually quick.  I was a fast skater, I was a modest sprinter and a better long distance runner, and when I hike, I usually lead the group.  Being fast is not always better though.  Pushing my speed one night led me to severely breaking my wrist, but I lived and learned some limits.  Finishing a hike along the coast one afternoon, I decided I wanted to be the first to take a swim in the Bay and on my run to the water, I cut my foot open on a shell.  Those incidents have both illustrated to me that quick is not always better.

As a youth I was a bit of a daredevil and I'm sure every time I left on my bike or my skateboard my mother wanted to stop me but instead let me enjoy being a kid.  On one occasion my buddies and I stood at the top of Millbrook Road and decided it would be cool to skateboard down the hill.  Everyone hesitated to actually push off, except me.  I got part way down the hill and my wheels caught on a stone and head over heels I went.  I had to go the hospital again, this time to have the stones removed from the palms of my hand, but I lived.  The lesson learned was I don't need to prove myself to anybody.  Unfortunately, I frequently need reminded of this lesson.

As a parent today, I struggle to let my kids learn those tough, often painful lessons.  If I don't let some of those accidents happen though they will struggle to know how hard they can push themselves or realize maybe that they might be pushing themselves too far.  With every injury and mishap I experienced I found new boundaries and limits.  When I was able to quickly recover from a mishap I would realize that I could push myself a little harder and when the mishap was more drastic I would readily see that I was at my upper limit.  Learning these lessons on my own would eventually serve me as I became an independent adult and still serve me today.  Maybe the only way it didn't help me was I still have no idea how much freedom to give my kids, any suggestions?

Random Games

This entry was originally published in the Kings County Record on March 17, 2015.  It was heavily influenced by the enjoyment I got from watching more than 60 kids playing simple games with simple toys.  It demonstrated that kids still know how to have fun and that computers and i-pods and the like haven't completely ruined their imaginations.  A huge thanks to the staff at Atlantic Community Church for organizing "Super Kids."

 

Random games are a wonder aren't they?  Have you ever thought "Who the heck thought to put a rope through two golf balls and throw them at a ladder?"  Maybe you question the mental state of the person who first threw a lawn dart.  Recently I have been helping out at the Atlantic Community Church with their "SuperKids" program and it is amazing how entertaining and how much of a workout small random games can be.

For a number of Wednesdays now the super kids at "SuperKids" have been engaged in random games.  These games include props from beach balls to rubber chickens and we have been able to engage up to 40 kids at a time.  Now, I admit, these games may not engage an overly serious adult, but if you can embrace the inner child you have lurking deep down inside, these games will get you laughing and exercising.

Next time you and your friends are hanging out and having some social drinks, why not blow up a couple of balloons, place some glow sticks inside them, turn out the lights and see how many long you can keep hitting the balloon up in the air.  With the right mind set this game can be very fun and requires very little investment in equipment or materials to play.

That game didn't interest you, then this summer when you're enjoying the beach, take a couple of rubber chickens from the "Dollar Store" and have chicken races.  I know rubber chickens can't actually run, but if you put the chicken between your knees and race your buddy 50m down the beach without dropping the chicken.  I bet before you get half way, you'll be wondering why it's so difficult while laughing so hard you can't keep your knees pinched together to hold the chicken.

Seriously, how bored do you have to be to think of the multitude of card games that exist?  How do you think of a game like volleyball, which I love by the way? When you put people on the banks of river, how long is it before someone picks up a rock and throws it, but who threw the first stone?  I've killed a lot of time, and likely threw out my shoulder a couple of times skipping stones but I find it almost therapeutic.

I know, I'm asking more questions here than I'm answering but it is a sense of curiosity that likely led to a great deal of these games.  Some games were derived out of a necessity.  I would even hazard a guess that lawn darts may have been derived from a need to practice spear throwing by a hunting tribe or clan.

 I don't think I have ever invented a game but after "SuperKids" tonight I have decided to challenge myself to create a game.  Since I like being outdoors I am going to create a new game outside for winter time.  It might be a race to see who can stack snowballs to a certain height from ten feet away.  Hey I think I just invented a new game.  Now I challenge you to get outside and invent your own game.  Don't do it alone though, engage your friends to help you.  I like solitaire but I love 45s.